Why the University of Arizona is better than Duke
…written by a former Wildcat.
— We have an exclamation mark in our school’s motto.
— Just under a third of each year in Durham is spent in the rain, while Tucson has an average of 3,802 hours of sunshine per year.
— You guys idea of fun is camping out in the cold for months to be the first inside Cameron Indoor. Ours is camping out by the pool for months, but really just to get a tan.
— Sure, your academics are better, and your degree carries a lot more worth, but do you guys offer a 50 minute flight to Las Vegas for pizza money?
— At Duke, Karen Owens writes a Powerpoint outlining her best lays during college and it is an Internet phenomenon. At Arizona, that’s a Tuesday.
— At least you can spell the last name of our basketball coach.
— Yeah yeah yeah, you guys have won a lot of basketball championships, but when is the last time your football team made a bowl game (Oh, that’s right, 1995, when you got smoked by Wisconsin)? And let me tell you, when a guy from Arizona is making fun of your football team, that’s saying something.
— Remember a few years back when J.J. Redick was the talk of college basketball? Salim Stoudamire actually shot better from outside than Redick that year, and nearly took the Wildcats to the Final Four on his back.
— The University of Arizona is smart enough to realize that most lacrosse players are rich, spoiled assholes, and thus doesn’t affiliate the team with our sports department.
— Our student body, your student body.
— Tucker Max went to Duke.
