The most annoying people in Las Vegas
This weekend I was in Las Vegas for, you guessed it, a bachelor party. It was my best bud’s shindig, so I had to accompany him and seven other friends as we sausage fested our way around the city. While there, I ran into just about all the annoying characters you see when in LV (including us, the “annoying bachelor party guys that think they’re way funnier than they really are”). Here is the list, and feel free to add ones you see fit.
“Guy that keeps using Las Vegas cliches” — Standing in the taxi line, a man behind me said the following two sentences, in a row! ”That’s why they call it Sin City. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” If this is the most creative you can be, just go ahead and swan-dive off the top of Excalibur.
“20-something with the four-foot tall drink” — You’re seriously going to pay $18 for a sugar-filled drink from a street vendor? Might as well snag a couple of those stripper cards while you’re at it.
“Guys that wear the sunglasses inside” — This is obviously not just Vegas, but between the pool people and the club groups, the percentage is boosted. YOU ARE INSIDE! Take off your goddamn sunglasses.
“Bachelorette/Birthday girl groups that have matching shirts” — Oh yeah, real original — pink shirts that have a “clever” rhyme about the girl getting married/turning 40? I bet you got a high SAT score.
“People that take pictures of the hotels” — What are you going to do with that one? A photo of the Wynn with eight strangers in it? I’m sure that’ll get some frame love.
“People that have no clue how to gamble, but gamble anyway” — You don’t see me jumping in the driver’s seat of a bulldozer, do ya? I’m not trying to make a soup from scratch. There is no chance you’re going to see me singing for a live audience. Why? Because I don’t know how to drive a bulldozer, I’m not a chef and I sure as hell can’t sing. “Oh honey, the book says you’re supposed to split those 10s.” Die. Just die.
“Person that screams the word ‘Vegas’ for no reason” — It doesn’t help that I also have a hangover while having to listen to you.
“Out-of-towners that want to try a hand at poker” — You’re going to lose, boss.
“Anyone at McCarron Airport” — If you’re landing all you want to do is leave, so you’re pushing and shoving your way to the quickest cab. If you’re leaving, all you want to do it sleep, but the airport is the size of a very quaint 7/11. The whole place is like a really smelly, very hungover zoo.
“Bouncers at clubs” — I hate you. I really, really hate you.
Alright, who ya got?
